Back to the reality of the Female Led Marriage

OK, So i have neglected to write in the blog for the past few weeks, I reckon the reason may have been a little bit of laziness on my part, or if i'm honest a little bit of frustration at just how to achieve my and my wife's dream of a cohousing community... I'm sure it will happen when it does, if it doesn't happen, well then, It won't happen,  such is life. I still think it was a good idea to put the idea out into the web.

So this weekend my wife gave me a wake up call of my slack, or more to the point, my what she saw as 'controlling' behavior. I made some comments about what she was wearing - WRONG thing to do in a FLR. I was reminded on the journey home from our shopping trip, when i thought it was all in the past. - after all, i'd said sorry. 

My wife said 'When our daughter goes to bed for her afternoon nap I'll be whipping you for your behavior this morning, it was totally unacceptable'. I asked 'how many'? she replied, '70'. We have used corporal punishment within our FLR for a number of years. It doesn't suit everyone, and my wife chooses to use non-physical punishment as well. Pre-FLR i used to find a whipping 'kinky' or 'sexy'. That is now most certainly not the case. I'll do anything to avoid getting cropped. My wife has removed anything sexual about it. It hurts. She makes sure of it. I can say that i fear it, and it is not in any way fun.

When we got home I asked if she wanted me to 'get ready' to which she replied 'yes, you can'. Whilst our young daughter to bed, i followed the ritual...I have to collect the crop from where it is hung in the clothes cupboard, and hang it to the bed posts, then i have to strip my bottom half, removing my pants and underwear, plonk some pillows at the end of the bed, and lay and wait for her in position. I heard her walking down the corridor... know it's going to happen. She walked in, looking a little grumpy now.  She told me not to 'delay' or 'mess around' and then after tapping my bottom, carries the whipping out, in sets of 20, mostly on my thighs (as it seems to hurt a lot more). No, I couldn't take it like a man, it hurts like hell, and do vocalise the pain during it!!! After 20 I told her i'd learnt my lesson! At each 20 she paused for a 30 second break, and then continued The last ten where the worst. At the end she told me 'my job is done' left the crop on the bed and walked out....I was left with a sore bottom and thighs, and a valuable lesson in the lifestyle we have chosen...

This sort of punishment may not be everyone's cup of tea....However, reflecting upon it, it really helps for ME to reinforce my positive behavior and reflect on the bad.. I now know not to try and control what she wears. She has told me it will be 130 strikes of the crop next time. 'Just try me' she said. I can safely say i won't be. Just like the lesson i learnt last time she chose to use physical punishment....

  

So just HOW would a Female-led Cohousing community be run?

Well, in the end, that is up to the Women in the community, who, before anyone moves into the community, will have decided.
My ideas would be based firmly around the Women of the community actively leading it, and with opportunities for men to have their say too.
In the planning stages, I'd say it would be important for all to have a say (Women, and men), as they are the families that will be living within the community. An 'elected' leader would be chosen from the ladies initially, prior to moving into a completed community. Other senior roles in the planning stage should also be made up from the Women. 
Even a Female-led cohousing community needs input from the men, especially in the planning stages. 
Upon moving into the cohousing community, The ladies would continue to fill all leadership roles, and voting rights extended to all female community members. As suggested in the 'Femquility' model, men could have their say via. discussion with their wives/partners, and 'asking them to consider voice to their views'
the Femquility 'Wise Woman Council' (WWC) is also a fantastic idea in my view, and would help mediate disputes and decision making in the community.
Regular WWC meetings manage the community and it's affairs, with news electronically sent to members of the community.
Female-friendly groups, such as a sisterhood, mentoring, and a group for teenage girls should also be considered.
However, men should not be forgotten, a men's group (under direction of the WWC) should also be considered. 
The community house would be the centre of the community. Possibly two stories high, on the ground floor, it may feature a shared kitchen, eating area, quiet lounge, and things for young kids, maybe a small library with books and DVDs. The upstairs may contain a female-only area.
Meeting regularly to socialise is a big part of cohousing, and the community house attempts to meet this need. Shared dinners and regular weekly events for members to attend (optional, but encouraged) would be a ongoing feature...

Community before Cohouse?

As I wrote yesterday, before any sort of distant dream can become real, it requres people to share in a vision, or dream. That is done by a shared vision, and by people become invloved, don't be shy...get in touch with us! Is this whole idea a good one? or is it far fetched? could it become reality? or am i reading things wrong? This has been a dream of mine for so long!

So far I've only had 9 hits on this blog (sigh)...which is a shame...I'd hoped by now to have appealed to a bigger audience, and with that, some in Australia, who at least share in our lifetstyle, which is a Female led Marriage! We'd love to meet some like minded people to share expriences with, and who can grapple with the dream of creating community, what ever shape or form that might come in! I'd love to hear some comments of peoples ideas, and also why is this blog not showing up on google search or google blog search? anyone have any ideas??? If you do, let me know!

Anyway, moaning blog entry over for today!

 

Community First, Cohouse later?

I think I said i'd blog about somthing else today, but changed my mind.


What place do men have in decision making in a Female led Cohousing Community? 


Been thinking over the last day over a comment regarding my ideas on the popular FLR lifestyle site 'She Makes The Rules'. A person who lives in a cohousing community touted the merits of a cohousing community. However, he also offered a view that a Female led cohousing system may not work, for example...what if we end up with a lot of strong Women all wanting to lead, what if one woman jostles for power....how would it work if there was too much of a 'They're only the men, we'll do as we please' culture...He thought that men as part of the community need to be part of the decision making process, even if it was a female led community....They are very valid points which could end up being a major sticking point and point of conflict...How would this be overcome? 
These are things that could take months of discussion to work out.


What if it's a non-starter??? for now, or always?


At the very least, it would be good to end up with a valuable, local support network for couples in a Female Led relationships in the Melbourne area... Something that may morph into a social group that meets at persons' houses, and maybe enjoy a camping trip or something together each year... A Female led marriage can be challenging and exciting, and i know i'd love to meet and socialise with like minded couples...


Maybe a long-term aim would be move into cohousing, or, at least, to explore the options that may be available to those who are interested...Most important thing is to start a network of some kind, be it in person, or online...


More tomorrow...

Another idea of what a semi-rural cohousing community may look like...

What IS Cohousing? And WHAT would it look like?

So, My ideal cohousing community may look like this picture above, but with more of an Australian feel...
In a Cohousing community, people get together and live in a community. Cohousing acknowledges the need for each person to have her and his place to retreat, be a family unit and have independence, yet, people are able to walk out of their front door into a community with a difference..


What would 'this community' have out of your family home?


Firstly. GREEN. and plenty of it. A shared central reserve, with the houses surrounding it, a shared market garden, and also areas to house animals such as chickens, and a bush reserve. If the community is on the Melbourne fringe, it is likely to be surrounded within our duristriction with productive lands use for commercial agriculture,  which is lent to neighboring land owners for dairying and grazing purposes. 
The central reserve would feature things such as a covered rotunda, BBQ area, and a childrens' play area. Next to the reserve, the centre of the community,  a community house would sit proud.
The community house will be a shared resource of community members, and a place where we may share a group meal a few times a week. It will have a kitchen, and maybe a meeting room, lounge, a TV room (the house could also be set up to provide Family day care during the week). It may have a purpose as a double-storey home, which, for the purposes of our proposed Female-led community, would be ideal as a Women's retreat (maybe featuring a women's lounge, and maybe even a spa! - who knows? just ideas, and these extra things cost money).
The community would be gated at the front, set well back by a green wedge from any roads. Traffic within the community would be a minimum, and residents' only cars beyond a front car park. 


How about my house, would it be a 'dog box' block'?


No, not at all! why should it be? We're aiming for Melbourne's outer fringe, close to established services, so this reduces the cost of expensive land inside Melbourne's urban growth boundary (UGB). This would allow for blocks of a medium size, so to enjoy privacy, while having the cohousing community at your front door.However, I would think that some townhouse size blocks would be included in the design to cater for all tastes.


That's all i can think of writing for now....


Next time a bit about buying in, expected costs, and, SOME encouragement start a group meeting and sharing ideas NOW!..Need some couples in a FLR, in Melbourne to get in on this and start supporting us, this can only become real with many!


Christian

Trying to get the message out there..

So this is my first ever blog entry..

The intro has explained a little about me, so I won't bother repeating all that...

I've had an idea in my head since looking at the 'Femquility' website from the South-Eastern US, of creating a community along simular lines as that here in Australia, not quite so 'harcore' but none the less, female led, and Matriarchal.
I looked at the Femquility website, and thought, wow, what a concept, shame we live so far away. I even imagined having such a community in my own street.
Then, i spoke to my wife about it, at first she found the idea totally stupid 'Who would be interested in that, nodbody, I expect'. Over the past few weeks we have discussed it, and she has warmed to the idea, thinking that 'its worth giving a go, we have nothing to loose'. I have tried posting on the Female-led website 'She Makes the Rules' which has brought some great responses, but mainly from people living in the wrong country!
Today, I asked my wife if i could start a blog, so I have, and she's considering having us start a simple website.
Right now, we're at the starting point, not even at the first base.
We need to hear from couples in loving, committed and demonstrated Female led Relationships (FLR'S) who like the idea of living in a Matriarchal cohousing community,(next time, I'll post some info on the cohousing principle) and want to find out more, and share ideas. We want to get to know people who can share our vision, we can't do it by ourselves, and we need some momentem!...
This blog is an attempt to spread the news to as many as possible, and get the show on the road..
Within a few months, it would be a dream come true if a few Female-led couples where meeting together, sharing their dreams and ideas about what a cohousing community with this twist would be like, as well as, in the first instance, being a important, local, Australian support network for couples living the female-led lifestyle....